Mom | Fearless Heart

There is something strangely therapeutic about getting back to your roots…..And no I don’t mean my original hair color. Which by the way is still the same since the day I was born, maybe not quite as dark but still my original color. Yes, I am hitting that age where a few grey hairs like to find their way in but I just chalk it up to wisdom slowly being gained over time….right?

But what I do mean is back to the root of who I am..of who God has made me to be and what He has created me for. Do you ever feel like life gets so full and cluttered that you begin to lose yourself? You lose your identity and the purpose for which you were made?

It is so easy to do and yet it almost happens without us knowing it.

I can’t really speak for anyone else…only for myself….but sometimes…

Sometimes I can get lost in being a Wife and Mom. I can get so caught up in meeting my families needs…being the chauffeur, nurse, teacher, holder of books and hair ties, cautionary voice and investigator of messy rooms, cook and chief bottle washer….

That I forget to be me….

Sometimes I get caught up in being a Pastor’s wife and church planting sidekick….keeper of schedules, organizer of events and children’s church, administrator, and janitor, encourager, small group leader, worship team member, supporter and prayer warrior….

That I forget to be me….

Sometimes I get caught up in being a farmer and gardener.…hay slinging, dirt shoveling, compost building, animal tamer, master chicken catcher and goat herder…

That I forget to be me…..

Sometimes I forget to be me….because I am busy meeting expectations. Expectations of myself and ones I assume others have of me.

It’s not that those roles aren’t a part of who I am….Pastors Wife, Mom, Church Planter, Farmer, Student, Teacher….They are…but those roles are not what defines me.

Because if all those roles were gone tomorrow…If life was truly stripped back to the basics…One thing would always remain. That I…Victoria…I am a daughter of my King. That is not a role…

That is my identity..That is Who I Am.

And as such, I am loved for me...not for what I do, but for who I am.

I think that is why in this time of “decluttering” I find myself stripping back to the basics of who I am in Christ. Because the truth is..until I can grasp a hold of this vital truth, then I will always be running to “find myself” in what I do not in who I truly am in Him.

It honestly takes some time to really wrap your head around…this “just being” instead of “doing.”

Are you running to find yourself in what you do? Have you forgotten who you are along the way? Are you growing weary in the chase?

It’s time to let go of expectations…it’s time to stop chasing value and worth in temporal things.

It’s time to get back to the basics…

~Victoria

1 Corinthians 13:13 – “Three things will last forever–faith, hope, and love–and the greatest of these is love.”Psalm 139:13-15 – “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUEy8nZvpdM

This season of my life is all about finding balance.

Really it’s about finding the balance to not overdo and over commit. It is so tempting, especially for a person like me who enjoys the busyness of a full life.

It doesn’t bother me to have a full schedule…to run from this soccer practice to that softball practice. To take in a counseling appointment the same day I’m due at the dentist office.

To juggle family, writing and homework all in the span of a 24 hour period.

But even I need to know when to take a break sometimes. To step back from the busy life I lead and breathe and re-focus. Sometimes it’s about being honest enough to say “I can’t take on anymore right now.”

Because the truth is….I have no interest in taking on the role of Superwoman, Superwife, Supermom…really Super anything. I have enough problems just being regular, ordinary me without putting on any undo pressure to save the world during lunchtime.

There was only one person who ever saved the world…and I am not it!

So with that in mind, I’ve been taking some time this past weekend to re-prioritize a bit. One of the main things on my plate right now is finishing up this last semester of college. And let me just tell you…it’s a doozy! The work is not hard and I am enjoying the learning, but there is a lot of it to do. Yesterday I spent 11 hours…Yes! 11 Hours studying to stay caught up.

It’s a lot of reading, lectures, a few papers scattered here and there…and simply putting in the time needed to finish well.

And I think that has been what is most on my mind and heart…what I feel God is saying to me right now…”Finish well Victoria, Finish Well!”

So, to that end… and to obeying what God calls me too…I am choosing to put a few things on the back burner. One of those things is the upcoming challenge that I was planning on starting April 1st. “Fearlessly Capturing the Heart of Your Daughter.”

This challenge has been on my heart for a long time and I had put it in my schedule weeks before I knew what my final semester was really going to look like and entail. In the old days I would have just pressed through and made it work…but I don’t believe that is what God is calling me to.

I believe with my whole heart that God calls us to excellence..(not perfection, because there is a difference in the two) But a call to excellence in everything that we do for him.

And when we take on too much we can struggle to really do things with excellence.

He calls me to have balance in my life…to not be superwoman…to not shortchange what he wants to do in the time he wants to do it.

I still plan on hosting the challenge..but for now God calls me to finish well what I had already started so that when I do move onto the other things he has called me to…that I might start and finish those well too.

For those that were planning on participating…I thank you and I hope that you will still plan to join us when I do launch the challenge in a few months time, but until then….

You will still see me in the space…for writing is my therapy, my place where I can find rest and a moment of peace from schedules that demand to be kept for this season of my life.

But you will not see me slipping on my “Super-Cape” anytime real soon….and to all you other wanna-be Superwoman out there… Believe me! It’s highly overrated!